A Coaches version of the Dirty Dozen:

1. There will be at least one parent (with no training and no experience) who will questions everything. As they should, for they will know considerable more than I.

2. There will be at least one player on the bench who was the star of some previous team. This of course, proves that I am inept at evaluating talent.

3. At least one average player would have been able to play at the D1 level if it had not for my pitiful coaching abilities.

4. No matter what criteria I use to select my starters someone will consider it stupid or unfair.

5. If I give an award, regardless how obvious the choice is I will agitate at least one parent.

6. For every rule that I have I will be inflexible if I do not waive it for their son, and wishy-washy if I waive it for someone else's.

7. I will give Jr. specific instructions, which he will ignore as he knows more than I. Of course, when he does not progress -- I will be deemed unworthy of holding my position.

8. If Jr. has a bad game and I pull him, then I am insensitive and showing lack of confidence in him. If I leave him in and he/we get rocked then I am both stupid and cruel.

9. If I give an honest evaluation of an average or sub-average player I will lose all respect from his parents.

10. If I am friendly with the parents of any of my starters at least one parent will feel I have thus proven I show favoritism.

11. If I take risks and win I am brilliant, if I take the same risks and lose I am an idiot.

12. Any motivational techniques I use will be considered by someone to be too harsh, too simply, too old fashioned, too trendy, too childish, useless, wasteful, boring.......